Divorce

This week we talked about divorce. I thankfully never had to suffer the affects of my parents divorcing, but my fiance unfortunately had to. When I first met him and he told me that his parents were divorced it honestly actually scared me because I didn't think he would want to pursue a relationship with me. I don't think parents realize how much stress this puts on the kids. I know that my fiances parents did not get divorced until he was 19 years old. He said he came home from his first semester of college and his parents told him and he said it was out of the blue. It is sad because he has a 9 year old brother that has to go back and forth between both parents and it is so hard for him. My fiance also has to communicate for his parents and gets caught in the middle of things. Especially when we were planning our wedding this semster it has been really hard communicating between both.

In class we talked about how 70% of men will remarry within 2 years after getting divorced. My fiances father did get remarried a couple years after and now he has a blended family and has 3 new step-siblings. He refuses to call his step-mother a "step-mother" and pretty much just ignores what that family does. I know it is hard on him though because he is extremely close to his Dad and he says it is just awkward to be there when the rest of his family "step" family is.

Parenting

This week we talked about parenting. 

HUSBAND AND WIFE have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. “Children are an heritage of the Lord” (Psalm 127:3). Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations.

I wanted to start off with sharing this paragraph from the Proclamation to the World because in this paragraph it outlines what parents duties are. I especially like the last sentence because it really shows the importance of parenting. It is also scary because you want to make sure that you do everything you can to raise your child in the right way so that Heavenly Father will be proud and happy. 

I cannot wait to be a parent, to be a mom. I cannot wait for that moment that I get to see my children for the first time after giving birth. Parenthood is one of the hardest things to do and mothers and fathers never get released from this calling.

It is important to remember that the way we parent will affect our children long term and so we need to make sure that we are doing the very best we can and are becoming active parents. 

My parents are the most amazing people in the world and I am grateful for the way that they raised me and I hope that I can be just like them one day. 

Work and the Home

I thought this weeks focus was very good and I felt like it had dealt with a lot of decisions that I will have to make probably sooner than later. We talked about the trend of female employment and how mothers are now getting jobs outside of the home instead of staying home and taking care of the kids. Ever since I was a little girl I have dreamed of being a mom. I wanted nothing more than to be a stay at home mom that cooked and cleaned and raised the kids. I thought it was so interesting how women view "homemakers" as something negative. I do not think there is one single negative thing about it. My fiance grew up differently than I did because his mother had a really good full-time job and he was raised by a nanny. It was a really awkward conversation about how he expects me to have a well paying job just like his mom did. I grew up with a mom that stayed at home and worked from home.

On Friday Brother Williams asked us to make sure that we put away our technology and I was kind of mad because I would always play on my phone. However, I put my phone away and the lesson was so good! Now I will always make sure to put my phone away :) We talked about finances and read Marvin J. Ashtons pamphlet called "One for the Money". Since I am getting married in 18 days (YAY!) finances have been on my mind a lot and I worry a lot. I thought this pamphlet was so handy! I guess you could say my testimony of not just tithing, but saving money in general was strengthened. I am excited to make a budget with my fiance and to try and do the best we can!

Here is the link for One for the Money: 

http://www.lds.org/bc/content/shared/content/english/pdf/language-materials/33293_eng.pdf

Communication

This week we talked about communication and how important it really is. Brother Williams shared a quote from Harold B. Lee that I loved.

"We should communicate so clearly not only that we can be understood, but that we cannot be misunderstood"

This is something that I really want to take to heart. I know that I struggle with sharing my feelings. I usually shut up and become silent when something bad happens. I can tell that friends, family, and mostly my fiance have become annoyed and frustrated with this. I do not know why it is so hard for me to communicate how I am feeling verbally. This is something that I am working on every day to get better at so that I can have a successful marriage and eventually family. This class is teaching me so much and preparing me so much for my future. 

Stress and Families

As for me and my family we haven't had a "huge" stress that was put on our family. We have gone through some trials, but nothing that was terribly huge or scary. However, as I was thinking about this topic I thought about my best friends family. When she was 12 her dad got a brain tumor and I remember her spending the night the night he went to the hospital  It was so hard to watch my friend and her family go through this, but now when I look at her family they are so strong and so close. Her dad got the tumor removed with no complications and today he is one huge example to people all over. He is the most positive guy and when he talks about his trial he talks about how he is glad that it happened.

During class we learned that in Chinese the word crisis means danger + opportunity  I thought that was incredible...I think that is something we need to think about more. How when crisis comes it can be dangerous and scary, but it will be filled with opportunity!

Marital Intimacy

This week (Feb. 25-Mar. 1) was filled with a ton of information regarding sexuality. I found a lot of this information very informative since I am getting married soon. I think of the main things I learned is that sex between husband and wife is a good thing and helps you bond together. Since I am also taking Family Foundations this semester we have also discussed this topic. It makes me sad to think so many people view sex as such a bad thing. I wasn't raised that it was a bad thing, but I was raised that it was also a good thing either. I don't ever remember my parents sitting down and talking to me about it. I remember many young women lessons on this topic and to be honest sex scared me. Now that I am older and way more mature, when I think about sex I view it as a beautiful and sacred thing that God gave to us. I am anxious to be able to share this special thing with my husband next month. I also learned this week that I want to make a plan on how and when I am going to have "the talk" with my kids. I think it is so important to make sure that we as parents are able to open up to our kids and talk to them about it. I do not want my kids to be afraid to talk to me about and to learn about it from their peers.

Marital Challenges

This week we talked about marriage transitions. I thought it was really interesting since I am getting married in a couple of months and it was a good lesson to help me prepare for the changes that are going to occur after I get married. I think it is a good thing that we are learning to work together right now in times of stress because we are learning how to cope with it and work together when times are hard. I think this will prepare us for when something in life comes and knocks us down because we will know what it is like to work together and not be stressed.